A Light that Never Fades: Remembering Michael Gaynor

benext global on education Aug 15, 2024

by Hector H. Lopez

There are some lights in our lives that, once kindled, never truly extinguish. Even as they flicker and fade, their warmth lingers, their glow imprinted on the soul, lighting our way forward in the darkest of times. Michael Gaynor was such a light in my life—a mentor, a friend, a man who, with his quiet strength and boundless wisdom, shaped not just my career, but the very contours of my existence.

To speak of Michael is to speak of stories—stories spun with a masterful blend of suspense, humility, and humor. He was a weaver of connections, each thread a life he touched, each knot a bond he forged. I remember the first time we met, a luncheon at well known eatery in Villanova, Pennsylvania. There, surrounded by the formalities of a professional introduction, Michael stood out—not by asserting his presence, but by drawing out the presence of others. He asked the questions that mattered, the ones that would unlock the stories within us all, and then he’d share his own, always tying them back to something personal, something that made you feel seen, understood.

It was this gift of connection that made him beloved in places far from his home, in corners of the world where his name became synonymous with warmth, with trust, with friendship. Latin America, where I had the privilege to follow in his footsteps, was one such place. He had no need for social media, no reliance on the digital threads that bind most of us today. Instead, Michael carried with him a leather-bound agenda, a day timer filled with the names, dates, and details that only someone who truly cared would remember. He was, in many ways, a keeper of memories—yours, mine, and those of countless others who had the good fortune to cross his path.

Our bond was forged in moments that transcend the ordinary, like that suspenseful invitation to join him on a trip to Austin for a Villanova basketball game. The journey itself was an adventure—one that began with excitement and ended with a deepening of trust and friendship that I will never forget.

Michael Gaynor doing what he loved most telling a great story with the power to change your life.

As we boarded the private chartered flight back to Philadelphia, the atmosphere was jubilant. We had witnessed an incredible game, connected with alumni, and felt the thrill of being part of something larger than ourselves. But as the plane took off, the weather turned, and soon we found ourselves caught in a storm that seemed determined to test our resolve.

The turbulence was like nothing I had ever experienced—violent, unrelenting, and terrifying. The plane shook and rattled, the lights flickered, and for what felt like an eternity, we were tossed around like leaves in the wind. It was in that moment, as the plane was thrown about by the storm, that Michael and I reached out to each other—not out of fear, but out of a shared understanding that we were facing something beyond our control. Our hands clasped, and what began as a simple gesture of reassurance turned into something much more profound.

As we gripped each other’s hands, I remember Michael looking at me with a steady calm in his eyes. “Well, if this is the end, buddy,” he said with a wry smile, “I’m glad I’m with you.” It was classic Michael—unshakable, grounded, and always able to find humor in the most unexpected places.

When we finally landed, skidding to a halt on the snow-covered runway, there was a palpable sense of relief, but also of something more—a deepened connection, a bond that had been tested and had emerged stronger. The next morning, one of our fellow passengers, who had witnessed our quiet exchange, approached Michael and said, “The most beautiful thing in that tough moment was seeing you embrace your son.”

It was an inside joke that would follow us for years, one that Michael would always bring up with a twinkle in his eye. “Hectorito,” he’d say, “I’m proud to be called your papa from Villanova.” And though it was always said with a smile, the truth behind those words was something I treasured deeply. Being called Michael Gaynor’s ‘son’ wasn’t just a joke—it was an honor, one that I carry with me to this day.

And then there were the times he guided me through life’s pivotal moments, like pausing my professional career to run for public office and even battling my mom's cancer. Michael, alongside Steve Merritt, helped me navigate the uncertain waters of change, believing in me when I most needed it. Even after Steve’s sudden passing, Michael stepped up, not just as a mentor, but as a brother, helping me lay the foundation for BeNeXT Global—one built as much on the strength of our bond as on any strategy or plan.

One of the most touching moments came when I left Villanova. Michael, ever thoughtful, presented me with tickets to the World Cup in Brazil—a gift suggested by his son, Nicholas. Nicholas, who faced his own challenges with a grace and strength that belied his years, understood my love for soccer and thought this would be the perfect send-off. It was a gesture that spoke volumes, not just about Michael’s generosity, but about the deep connection we all shared. While I couldn’t make the trip, the real gift was the belief Michael and Nicholas had in me, the support they offered, and the quiet, unspoken bond that bound us together.

Michael was a man who understood that the most important things in life—love, friendship, connection—are not things you seek recognition for. They are gifts you give freely, without expectation, knowing that in giving, you receive something far greater. He lived this truth every day, and it’s a lesson I carry with me as I step into my own journey as a father.

Our last conversation was about this new chapter in my life. I called him to share the news of my son’s impending birth, and he responded with the excitement of a proud father, telling me how much he looked forward to catching up in Philadelphia. “Let me know with time,” he said, “and we’ll dedicate a good chunk of time just to be together.” We planned for that, but fate had other plans.

Now, as I look back, I realize that the greatest honor I could ever receive was being called Michael Gaynor’s ‘son.’ It was always said with a smile, with the warmth of an inside joke, but it carried with it a truth that I hold dear. I am who I am today because of Michael, because of the light he brought into my life, a light that will never fade.

Michael, Godspeed on your journey, my dear friend. I know we will see each other again one day, in a place where the stories never end and the bonds we’ve forged only grow stronger. Until then, I carry your legacy forward, in my work, in my life, with my son and in the way I aspire to guide others as you have guided me.